Why is it so hard to receive?

This is a question I’ve often asked myself, particularly in my younger mothering years. I found it almost impossible to accept the help of others. My suck-it-up muscle very well toned, the martyr narrative would say “Amanda, you need to do it all. Don’t let anyone see you that you can’t manage. You’re strong and you can push through the tired.” It was an isolating and lonely time for me. I felt I could rely on no one to be there for me.

Can you relate?

Recently I’ve been enjoying a journey, of sorts. Not an outer journey but an inner journey. A journey of coming back home to myself. Not to make it sound too ethereal, I’ve been digging into some aspects of radical selfcare, like the ability to receive help from others, and trying to understand what makes it hard and how we can be better at honouring our needs.

And so, the question has arisen, “Why is it so hard to receive?”

It turns out that the answer may lay in our ability to trust. If, when we were young, our ability to trust was compromised it can be difficult to receive later in life.
I wanted to plant this seed today and hope that over the next week or so you might find a few minutes to contemplate your ability to trust and by extension your ability or willingness to receive. Receiving, in all its expressions from the oxygen the trees provide to the helping hand with dishes after dinner, is a vital part of our health and happiness.

I’ve been finding it most helpful to look at who I trust and who I don’t feel that safe connection with. Then, looking at how this influences my ability to receive support, complements, ideas from them.

It’s a challenging environment for trust just now but in some ways that makes it easier to discern. The contrast is greater.  I’m hoping this will make the contemplation insightful for you.


Self Enquiry into Trust & Receiving

  1. Who do you trust in your circle? Who do you hold a firm belief with in their truthfulness, ability and reliability?
  2. Who do you have a hard time trusting? Intuitively, whose energy feels off to you?
  3. How does your ability to receive from these people or groups of people differ?I would love to hear your thoughts, stories, questions or comments. It truly helps me to integrate these lessons along with you!Thank-you for being with me on this journey.Love and Kindness,Amanda